Integrity vs Despair

Never have you dialed ma number
to notify me that you have arrived
but 2 days ago
i felt special
and knew u bore guilt
and ur conscience musta pushed you
cuz u picked up a phone
and called me
to notify me
that you were back.

I dont mind
and yes,
i did feel special
but wondered what it'd'a been like
if i had continued to take ur crap

Or maybe
just maybe
when you hit that milestone
Integrity vs. Despair
as Ericson would call it,
hits you
and you begin to wonder
if your life has been fufilling
or if you have just accumulated
a whole lifetime of ... shit, crap and more bull
so tell me ...
How does it feel to be in despair?




Why exactly did you call me?