Two days ago, I turned 26.

And as my 25th year had brought me just about the worst trials,
It just may've been my year of blessings...
these things, supposedly dont come in pretty packages
And this one, surely didnt.

I was out of school
I felt like a failure
I was in love
Unrequited, at that.
I had to let go
He had.
She, had not.
He didnt.
I was back and forth
With a man who just would not, let me go
But triangles arent circles
And all its three corners just did not work
Too tight... too this...too that...we just didnt work
I restarted school. Or was it that school restarted me?
Not exactly sure.
But am here now... and loving what life has forgiven me...in my 25th year.

And this circle
is approximating
closing in on me
and somehow, i feel some warmth
and i realize that dreaming
even to oneself
is valid.
And all dreams,
even in the funniest ways,
become reality.
And that prayers
are in thoughts
and in words
and in wishes
and much more so,
in dreams.
And i thank God
for the new additions
the old subractions
and the stagnant loves...
and that he/she/it did not wait
for me to utter words
but simply did
give me the best gift for my 26th year...

Now, I am 26.
And that much wiser.
And that much calmer.
And that much... more... understanding.
That everything, passes.
And love, forgives.
And love, forgives.
And people... please understand...that love, forgives.
And it forgives.
And i have forgiven.
And she has forgiven.
And i have been forgiven.
And this resilient thing
that prompts me to love again
somehow finds ways to wake me up
just in time
to realize
that the best gift ever,
was at the times I had been low
Aint nothing sweeter
than to see the hill from the valley.
I see it.
I do... "feel" it.
Well enough to want to try...
Well enough to want to climb...


Well enough to start over...now.

Thank you Lord.
Thank you, ever so much.
Ever, ever so much.
I am blessed.

Today, i turn 25.

Happy birthday, to me.


Celebrating a year that has gone. Marred by such events i dare not speak of... that do not deserve space in my memories,...
I
celebrate the end of my 24th year.

And thank God that i have lived long enough to realise
that whatever it is that comes, must move right along.
Everything that comes... must pass.

Thank you lord, for the woman i have become.
And thanks to the world for molding me into this beign.

Thank you for Coming

Thanks for coming
made me so happy
to further discovr more about you
as i further find my stand in life

Caramel is as clueless as they come
makes m wonder, how is ur hgb?
Ms. Ngo continues to give
very colour-minded,habitually "immatured"
Tallgirlred is a friend
so fucking distant, yet, close enough
BeniL has issues
much more than i ever imagined

Is this even worth it?

thanks for coming though. i had such a great time. laughed like i havent done in a while, eat like it was runnin outta style.

But seriously though, Caramel... check ur hgb
if by the end of "Radio", all u seemed to grasp was "oh, the boy is retarded",
then cocoapuffs, do pls, get a blood check. i bet u any money, u're as anemic as my housecoat.

Ms. Ngo. Honeychile, where are u going?
how do u make plans and do the exact oposite. why de fuk would u expect thesame result? anybody can be rich. but only a smart motherfucker, can be wealthy. baby, enrich urself. enrich ur life. enrich ur senses!!! lets get u back into school...
i can tell in the way u speak, the way u articulate ur life, ur words, ur actions, althogh u are able to love, u love in the "youngest" ways...
baby girl, u are so much more! daddy can only live for so long.
what will happen when he is gone?
i beg u pls! for the sake of everything u plan to have.
lets get you back to school...

Tallgirlred... where are u?
u are an artist.
u have managed to master the art of reclusion, while at the very same time, displaying ur presence; so i am forced to ask u...
where are u, my love?
come here, chill here, live here...
we can be hurt a million times
but somehow, we have got to live life
come back.
here.

BeniL. just met u. dont know what in de name of jelusifat, to do with u.
thanks a buuuunnnnnnnnchhhhhhhfor the gift...
but
u are not for me, though i thank u for coming.
You think you can make a maid out of a queen?
you cannot "act" to me. I see right through u.
yes, u have a problem.
yes life is harder.
yes, you have had to adjust.
but!
no, i am not stupid.
u can do for yourself.
did u think u were the only one here?
do you think that we dont all have issues?
and in the name of the almighty...
need i remind u where u are?
everytime u acted, my bullshit radar alarms.
so i wont be keeping u for much longer.
because i cant be friends with u, if u cant be true to yourself.
oh ya and btw- u should'a taken a cab.
would'a made me feel muchhhh better,
u tried calling ma bluff one more time,
and i'll make sure u get it.
u're lucky Tallgirlred made it into a joke
cuz i sure as fuk didnt think dat ish was funny

nevertheless,...

i wouldnt have spent my 24th birthday anyother way. thanks to mylove, caramel, ms Ngo, Tallgirlred and BeniL.